One Step at a Time.

This beauty will turn 7 in just a few short weeks!

So many thoughts run through this momma's head... as I take one step at a time.

Developmental delays, Special Education, inconsistency in meeting IEP goals, mis-understood emotions, growing in size but not in developmental milestones, spit-fire determination!
These are the words that go through my heart as I think about my butterfly... yet they don't define Maggie. She is a wonder... God's wonder. And that is where I find my joy in this lady... she was made by God, for God, and I am just the lucky one who gets to be called her mother.

There are so many days that I lay myself to sleep feeling beat down, defeated and just plain tired. Most of the reasons I feel that way is because it is hard to parent this special little butterfly. She is Love. God's love. Yet being her parent is just plain difficult. Nothing is typical with Maggie... nothing. From her pain level, to her response to her peers or siblings, or how she reponds to fear or frustration... it is all unknown to me, and it is tiring.

Yet, I have the blessed priviledge of getting to step back at times and SEE how God is working through her life. She is Love. God's Love. I don't think there are many people who have come in contact with my butterfly that wouldn't describe her as Love. God's love. Her hugs and big toothless smile will be the first thing to greet most people. And that makes others feel loved, like a hug from God with skin!

I am her mother, but I am usually the last one to receive this love from her. It does hurt, because I think I need that hug from her.... but in another way I know in my heart that it is NOT about me! This love that Maggie has been given to give away is priceless... it is a gift from God to those she gives it to... and I am not about to get in her or His way.

But I tell you this... no matter what words might flood my mind when I think of Maggie... no matter what level of pain I might endure in a day, I will always be here for her and when I do get a true Maggie hug, I melt.

I melt away and ache for Heaven all the more!