The day you were born, it was as peaceful as can be... the doctor took you out and said, "Yep! It's a girl!" I didn't know it then, but everyone was worried. You didn't cry like most babies do, and your heart was beating with an extra beat. Soon you were being prepared for flight to the NICU. I watched as my 2 day old baby flew away from my arms... and all I could do was watch.
Test after test, no one could explain why you were "honking" but your heart was okay. Soon we would know, that we were in for more trouble. You were 5 days old when your daddy and I had to see you turn blue. Your body was limp, your breath was gone. I breathed my breathe into yours and soon I heard you cry.
Things have been hard for you, from sitting to crawling, walking to talking. But you've done it all in your time... God's time. I know there is so much that God can teach me through you. It's just hard on days when I am reminded that your future is unknown to me. God knows each of your days, and the whole of your life.
I don't worry that you won't be surrounded by love... but default of who YOU are people are drawn to love you! From your wrap-around hugs to your blonde curly locks... from your sweet little voice to your bright sunny smile... You are loved and you are God's.
This year you are in Preschool again! I tell people I meet that you are in the Special Ed Preschool and I wonder what they think. No one asks me why you are in Special Ed. I don't even know what I would say if they asked... your story seems so long. But I am here for you Maggie, whatever it takes. I will do the best I can to give you the support you need, to guide you when it's my turn, and to pray for you every step of the way.
I never imagined God would grow me in the way he is now... but you definitely throw me for a loop every day, and each time I have to let you go again, I get a lump in my throat. Just like when you were 2 days old.
Test after test, no one could explain why you were "honking" but your heart was okay. Soon we would know, that we were in for more trouble. You were 5 days old when your daddy and I had to see you turn blue. Your body was limp, your breath was gone. I breathed my breathe into yours and soon I heard you cry.
Things have been hard for you, from sitting to crawling, walking to talking. But you've done it all in your time... God's time. I know there is so much that God can teach me through you. It's just hard on days when I am reminded that your future is unknown to me. God knows each of your days, and the whole of your life.
I don't worry that you won't be surrounded by love... but default of who YOU are people are drawn to love you! From your wrap-around hugs to your blonde curly locks... from your sweet little voice to your bright sunny smile... You are loved and you are God's.
This year you are in Preschool again! I tell people I meet that you are in the Special Ed Preschool and I wonder what they think. No one asks me why you are in Special Ed. I don't even know what I would say if they asked... your story seems so long. But I am here for you Maggie, whatever it takes. I will do the best I can to give you the support you need, to guide you when it's my turn, and to pray for you every step of the way.
I never imagined God would grow me in the way he is now... but you definitely throw me for a loop every day, and each time I have to let you go again, I get a lump in my throat. Just like when you were 2 days old.
5 comments:
quHeidi,
That brought tears to my heart! Oh how much I've grown to love all of you!! I think of you every time I do a Neonatal transport, or a sick infant transport. You have helped me to be so careful to include the parents as much as possible, and to try to answer as many questions as we can.
God bless you as you journey with Maggie! You are an amazing mother!
That was so beautifully said. You are an amazing Mother. God has brought such enjoyment in our lives through Maggie and He continues to do so everyday. Maggie is an amazing gift from God and everybody that comes in contact with her feels that.
Love You Maggie Pie,
Grandma and Grandpa
Dear Sweet Heidi~
Beautiful!!!! You are simply beautiful!!!!! Your heart brings tears to my eyes.....You inspire me to be a better mommy. We will defintely be praying for her year in preschool. Thank you for inviting us on the journey : )
Love you, Robin
My son is just turning 2, and has been diagnosed as hypotonic. I found your blog through my many internet research sessions, and find it comforting in hearing Maggie's story. Thanks for sharing.
Oh this is a beautiful post. What a precious little miracle Maggie is. You couldn't have gotten a sweeter little girl, and she couldn't have gotten a more loving and caring mama. I'll pray for this year.
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