Walking through the shadows…

A rare moment for our girl… sitting with “typical” friends at a flag salute.
a smile, a moment of relative comfort.

Typical vs. Special Needs.

Intellectually Delayed, and it’s getting worse.

It all feels like a really dark shadow…

like there is a blue sky above, yet the dark clouds continue to shadow it’s glorious shining.

 
minutes after this picture was taken, Maggie was shoved in the stomach by a Special Needs student who was upset and took it out on Maggie.  As her mother, I felt rage and anger and hurt.  I wanted to scoop her up, take her home and physically protect her from this world.


It is like this little butterfly is still a caterpillar.  Like she is stuck on the ground, wrapped in tight green wrappings.  Unable to soar, unable to fly, unable to break free.

 
The stress and anxiety are clear… especially when she comes home looking like this.  Her little body doesn’t know how to live in this world sometimes.  She pulls at her hair when she’s bored, or nervous or scared.  Not sure which is most overwhelming for her right now.  
But I tell you that my heart is breaking…

A butterfly waiting to fly… desperately wanting to be beautiful and vibrant… to soar above God’s creation in the beauty of flight… with God’s love as the wind beneath her precious little wings.

but today it feels hopeless. 

it feels unreachable, this side of heaven.

And it hurts.  a lot.
Romans 5:3-4
³ And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, ⁴ endurance produces proven character,
and proven character produces hope.