I always like to start with a picture.
Life is full of everyday moments and those moments are what make life real. Maggie and I are together nearly EVERY moment of EVERY day. I can’t HELP but think about her and her future…
almost every moment of each day.
I know that life is meant to be lived… and Maggie lives!
I know that life is not about the destination but it is about the journey.
I know that I am blessed to have Maggie as my daughter
because she brings me to my knees in desperate prayer!
So, as we live each day trying to learn and work through adding and subtracting, reading and writing, Science and Social Studies and eye therapy homework, I find myself full of hope one day…. and other days I feel lost and lacking anything that resembles hope.
If it takes Maggie an average of 5 years to reach a new grade level in education, then we are probably looking at her “graduating” high school with the equivalence of maybe a 3rd Grade academic level.
That thought makes me lose my breathe.
Then my heart begins to wonder. Do I hold out hope for more? Or will there be a day when someone can tell me that Maggie will not likely reach any higher than her current academic level. I posted once before that maybe things would be easier if Maggie had a label. If I had some book I could read and research specifically how to help Maggie progress through life then maybe life would be easier to understand.
On my knees. That is where Maggie’s life leads me…
and maybe that is exactly how God’s want it to be for now.
We never thought that we’d possibly have our daughter living with us for life… and maybe we won’t. But maybe we will. That is a reality that we have had to come to terms with. Even Maggie’s big sister said to me the other day… “I wonder who Maggie will live with when we are older?” She was asking which sibling would take Maggie, her or her brother….and my heart sank for a minute.
What will life look like for Maggie? This is something that I ache over, even more than my other two kids. Their lives are just as uncertain as Maggie’s, but there is something different about thinking about your child NOT having the skills necessary to ever live life on her own.
So, that leaves me with one thought. Today. Today we will awaken and start the day. Today we will learn the best that Maggie can learn… and we will live. Maggie will shine her smile that is so well known and other’s will feel her God-given love. That is Maggie’s gift to this world!
And I will be there… holding her hand, picking up the pieces, navigating the waters of uncertainty… and in the quiet of my day or night, I will cry my silent prayers to God.
