Middle School is here…

Well, here we go Butterfly!
6th grade… Bridge Classroom… Typical PE and Choir!

In your own words, you’re “gonna CrUsH 6th grade!”

The End of Elementary…

What a journey it has been…

From Preschool at 3& 4 years old…

to Kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade in Public School…

to 3rd & 4th grade Homeschool…

and finally, to 5th grade back in public school!

The days have been long… but the years have been quick!
I can’t believe you are heading into Middle School….

You have my heart Sunshine… you truly SHINE God’s love.
I’m so thankful I’ve had a front row seat for the show!

Crossing that “Bridge”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it…”

Well, I think that “Bridge” has come… and we have crossed it.

The Bridge of Reality.

Not that it’s a bad thing, at all… but it is a bridge I wasn’t sure I could cross.

You see, over the early years of Maggie’s school we had been given hope. 
Hope that she’ll “catch up”… hope that she’ll do fine, given early intervention!
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Preschool years…
”Get her early intervention… most children with developmental delays will reach their typical milestones by 1st grade and they will catch up with their peers… just get them that early intervention!”

And those early years were terrible for me… her mother… the one who planned to keep my kids home until Kindergarten.   The one who knew that I could provide a safe and nurturing environment at home, where I could shelter and love and hug and kiss…. and control.

Sending her away to preschool was NOT in my plan.  But they were a good few years for Maggie because she learned how to cut with scissors (something I would have NEVER done with her at home… it was too scary)  She learned to become a bit more independent and able to interact with her peers a bit better.

Then came Kindergarten!!!
”The team feels that Maggie would do wonderfully placed in a regular Kindergarten class, with minimal support for letter formation and speech.”

WooHoo!!!  Here we go… this is what we heard would happen!  Typical life, here we come!!!

But that dream wouldn’t last long…

About mid-December, she seemed to hit her academic plateau.  She has learned a great amount, and thanks to an AMAZING Kinder teacher, she reached many milestones that we weren’t sure she would master.

Everything seemed to stop there.

And then came the words… Special Day Class.

The team felt that given her academic discrepancies, the SDC classroom would better fit her learning delays.

She adored participating in plays with her typical peers in her first grade year, but it was becoming more and more apparent that academically she was falling behind.
For her 3rd and 4th grade years, we felt that a homeschool environment would help her gain some ground…given her sensitivity to social environments and the physical outbursts that some of her classmates were displaying, we thought that if her environment felt safer and less stressful, that her learning and academics would have a chance to bloom!
While all of that was true, the truth was even clearer… and God was presenting me with many opportunities to say, “Okay God, I am ready to cross that bridge.”

It wasn’t until I felt the utter depths of no hope for Maggie that I felt God leading me and saying… “It’s okay to cross that bridge because I have already gone before you and I will help you walk every step!”

So, we have crossed the bridge, literally… into the Bridge Class at school.

Vocational training in hopes that Maggie may one day have a job.  Vocational training so her skills for life will be strong, in hopes that she might someday live on her own.  Appropriately low academic learning so that she might someday write her name on her own. Appropriately low academic learning so that Maggie might someday be able to add and subtract independently.

This is the bridge we have crossed.
It has taken me a few weeks… but it is becoming more and more okay within my soul.
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Maggie will still continue to build and have friendships with her typical and SDC friends.
And she will also have the opportunity to share the love God has specifically given her, and her alone…  with a new group friends and aides in the Bridge class.


I know I will probably travel this bridge many times… back and forth from typical land to the land of the intellectually delayed.  And this journey will lead me to my knees on a whole new level.  I will choose to lean on the strength and understanding of the Lord.  I will choose to say it is well with my soul because it is the life God has chosen for me. 

“Dear God, please continue to help me see your strength and your grace so that I may love your child well.  It will be by your power alone that this sweet life is a blessing to others.  Please help me not to get in the way.  And Lord, when I am uncomfortable and unsure, please give me the understanding of your love to face each and every day.”

To God be all the honor and glory of this one’s precious life!

Walking through the shadows…

A rare moment for our girl… sitting with “typical” friends at a flag salute.
a smile, a moment of relative comfort.

Typical vs. Special Needs.

Intellectually Delayed, and it’s getting worse.

It all feels like a really dark shadow…

like there is a blue sky above, yet the dark clouds continue to shadow it’s glorious shining.

 
minutes after this picture was taken, Maggie was shoved in the stomach by a Special Needs student who was upset and took it out on Maggie.  As her mother, I felt rage and anger and hurt.  I wanted to scoop her up, take her home and physically protect her from this world.


It is like this little butterfly is still a caterpillar.  Like she is stuck on the ground, wrapped in tight green wrappings.  Unable to soar, unable to fly, unable to break free.

 
The stress and anxiety are clear… especially when she comes home looking like this.  Her little body doesn’t know how to live in this world sometimes.  She pulls at her hair when she’s bored, or nervous or scared.  Not sure which is most overwhelming for her right now.  
But I tell you that my heart is breaking…

A butterfly waiting to fly… desperately wanting to be beautiful and vibrant… to soar above God’s creation in the beauty of flight… with God’s love as the wind beneath her precious little wings.

but today it feels hopeless. 

it feels unreachable, this side of heaven.

And it hurts.  a lot.
Romans 5:3-4
<sup>3</sup> And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, <sup>4</sup> endurance produces proven character,
and proven character produces hope.

A New Adventure

Fortune cookie says, “Anyone can “start”, only the thoroughbred can “finish!”
We will finish this race my “thoroughbred” butterfly!!!

Back to School for you my Butterfly!
 
Maggie wanted desperately to be “back in school”… so here we are!
I know the Lord has gone before us… and I pray for peace in whatever storm may come.

Open House, California Style

 Year two of Homeschool is finished!

So, we end with an Open House where my girl can show off all of her hard work!



California State Symbols

Mission Life

California Regions and Native Americans

We also got to show off the rest of the work we did this year too!

During our Open House we had centers to celebrate different aspects of California!

The California Cookie and a California Magnet Souvenir

Next was Gold Mining!

"Eureka!"

After mining for Gold, they got to trade some gold for goods at our Trading Post!

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"Going West" was fun!!!

And thanks to all our friends who came and made this night super fun!!

It wouldn't have been Open House without you all!

Happy California Day to my sweet, sweet girl!